Jonah Hex Movie Review …

After more than forty years, the 1970’s DC comic book Jonah Hex finally gets the big screen treatment. The story centers itself on the DC antihero Jonah Hex who is a disfigured gunslinger and part-time bounty hunter that is about to go on his greatest adventure to date. You see, Jonah Hex isn’t your average bounty hunter because when he was fighting in the America Civil War, he realized he was fighting the wrong fight and changed sides by murdering his best friend and son of the notorious Confederate Army General Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich).

Turnbell get his revenge by murdering Hex’s family, branding Hex’s face, and leaving him to die tied to wooden stakes. American aboriginals find him and bring him back from the brink of death to be alive, but a very changed man. Being so close to death has given Jonah Hex the ability to bring dead people back to live with nothing more than a touch. Supernatural elements combine with Western aesthetics to take viewers on a wild and bloody ride as Hex hunts down the man who murdered his family, which turns in to a race to save the country he became a hero saving in the American Civil War.

Like I have always said, the western genre is the killer of careers, but if you don’t agree, whatever happened to Emilio Estevez? Ya you’re probably right anyway, he never had a career. But seriously, this is a pretty cool film for about the first five minutes until it turns into a complete mess of a film. The plot is nothing more than a revenge plot where Hex is hunting down the man who murdered his family which is full of clichés, and the characters never grow or change through the course of the film and stay two dimensional.

The entire film seemed to move at a snail’s pace despite claiming to be action packed and only having a running time of 84 minutes. There is a moment while watching this film when you know the film has failed in almost every way possible and it is the moment where every scene makes you feel like you are watching the 1999 Will Smith film Wild Wild West. The saddest part of this entire film is that you can tell by watching it only once that it has obviously been edited down from a far more complex film, and the director or studio decided to chage it into the cliché mess that it is.

Although an all around mess, there is a couple of beams of sunlight breaking through the clouds, and his name is Josh Brolin. Not only is he a personal favorite of yours truly, he is excellent as the lead character Jonah Hex, despite the fact that he’s forced to deliver all his lines through gritted teeth, but when you have half a face, there is probably some pain that he has to fight through every day of his life.

The best comparison of Brolin in this film is a combination of Eastwood and the supernatural, but he is not without his sensitive side as his scene his scene with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, best know n in his role of the Comedian in the 2009 film Watchmen, as his dead best friend he was forced to murder for the good of the country is rather moving. On the side of the evil Confederate, there’s also a strong performance from Michael Fassbender, one of Turnbull’s vicious henchman, but Malkovich chooses the worst possible film to forego his staple film role, and delivers a lazy performance featuring a fairly poor accent.

I feel terrible even mentioning her name, but Megan Fox again proves that she has a pretty face, but not an acting bone in her body. The film also finds it in its power to completely waste the talent of its supporting players like Will Arnett and Michael Shannon. It’s not uncommon to question, “What is he doing in this film?” followed by the answer, “Ah well, he’s dead now anyway.”

Apart from the strong presence of Josh Brolin in this film, perhaps best known for his performance in the Academy Award winning best film No Country for Old Men, this is a film that should be avoided unless you are a western junky or just like watching strange poor movies. Sure the film does have some pretty nice ideas, most notably the Gatling-gun horse and a pair of dynamite crossbows, but they’re both given a scene each and then quickly forgotten about. Aside from the rich and kind of ridiculous back-story of Jonah Hex, this is a film that we have seen time and time again.

I don’t think I can easily think of a western movie that was not, in one way or another, a revenge plot featuring nearly identical protagonist and antagonist fighting to the death. On paper, this appeared to be one of the most unique films in the western genre to date, but it turned into one of the many that should be most avoided to date instead.

Jonah Hex Movie Trailer

Red Movie Review…

Red is an explosive action-comedy starring the elite of the acting world Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren. Frank (Bruce Willis), Joe (Morgan Freeman), Marvin (John Malkovich) and Victoria (Helen Mirren) used to be the CIA’s top black ops agents, but the secrets they have accumulated over the decades have just made them the Agency’s top targets.

Now they are all on the run from this generations best secret agents that will stop at nothing to have them all killed, and they must use all of their collective cunning, experience and newfound teamwork to stay one step ahead of their deadly pursuers and stay alive. In order to stop the Agency’s operation from coming to fruition, the team must embark on an impossible, cross-country mission to break into the top-secret CIA headquarters, where they will uncover one of the biggest conspiracies and cover-ups in the history of the United States Government.

What would retired life be like for the greatest black ops agent in CIA history? One would guess a well deserved relief, but for Frank Moses, nothing could be more boring. His greatest achievement since his days working for the government is getting an avocado to grow in a cup of water. Let’s just say that retired life isn’t what Frank Moses expected. But a new relationship has sprung up with a young woman he frequently calls when his pension checks “disappear”, but just as Frank and Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker) make plans to meet, a black-ops team shows up at his house looking to murder the retired black-ops agent.

His old reflexes kick in and prove that the new generation is no match for the grit and determination of the old class of CIA agents. He goes on the run with Sarah to save both their lives, but they soon find they need help in order to survive. They meet Joe (Morgan Freeman) in his old folks home to use his superior intelligence gathering skills, acquire the aid of Marvin (John Malkovich) from his Florida safe house, and Victoria (Helen Mirren) is added to the team of specialists for her superior weapon training. When even the aid of a team of Reds, those black-ops Retired and Extremely Dangerous, the team finds they need the help of old enemies, the Russians, to infiltrate the CIA headquarters. With CIA William Cooper close on their trails, the team has to complete their toughest mission of their lives in order to save themselves and the United States of America.

Aside from being pumped full of some of the greatest actors and actresses of our generation, it is probably one of the funniest movies I have seen all year. It’s a movie that is completely over the top in a lot of places and never takes itself serious. Bruce Willis is amazing in this film and at the age of 55, he still looks dam cool stepping nonchalantly out of a speeding cop car in mid-360 spin in order to shoot at his pursuer. Of course he isn’t simple a ex-blacktops agent, but rather the best of the best. So good was Frank Moses that his CIA record is huge but is completely blacked out line for line.

His relationship with Sarah, played by Mary-Louise Parker who is best known from her role in the hit television show Weeds, starts out like every relationship should, with a kidnapping, and ends with her giddily thinking about the punishments for the crimes they are committing. But the one actor that steals the entire show is none other than the brilliant John Malkovich. Malkovich plays Marvin who is the typical conspiracy nut that lives in a forest and thinks the government is constantly out to get him. I know, sounds cliché right? But the truth is he actually is right . . . the government had been feeding him daily doses of LSD for more than eleven years plus they’re trying to get him.

Sure Red doesn’t have the best plot in the world, and at times it is actually quite confusing as to who is who, but the film is so action packed, so hilariously funny, and incredibly stylistic that that audience either doesn’t notice the lack of plot or simply doesn’t care. Red is a film that will never win an Academy award, or even be nominated for that matter, but if you count the awards won by the cast, you could easily fill a room with trophies. This is one of those rare movies that I watch, and instantly have to tell everyone about. Sure it’s not the best, but it is one of the most entertaining movies of the year, and it is accessible to everyone because it is an action movie, a comedy, a romance, a political thriller, and a spy movie all mixed together.

Thematically, it teaches that great friends are always there for you, and that even your worst enemy can become your best friend in the future. Unlike most films where you have to wait until the climax of the movie to be rewarded, Red rewards the audience in the first ten minutes, but the funniest scene in the entire movie takes place as the credit role. Get out there and enjoy!

Red Movie Trailer

If you were anything like me when the trailer for Secretariat first came out and didn’t have a clue who Secretariat was, then maybe you need a horse racing history lesson like I did. The Disney film Secretariat is based on the Novel “Secretariat: The Making of a Champion” by William Nack. Secretariat chronicles the spectacular journey of the 1973 Triple Crown winner who did what everyone thought was impossible. Despite her lack of horseracing knowledge, Housewife and mother Penny Chenery (Diane Lane) agrees to take over her ailing father’s Virginia-based Meadow Stables. Against all odds, Chenery, with the help of veteran trainer Lucien Laurin (John Malkovich), manages to navigate the male dominated business. In the spirit of all underdog stories, Chenery and Laurin foster the first Triple Crown winner in 25 years and what may be the greatest racehorse of all time.

This is perhaps one of the most inspiring stories you will ever hear about, and in a throwback to when Disney used to pump these films out, you’ll laugh, you’ll cheer, and you might even cry a little bit. I think it would be a challenge to not like this film simply because of the nature of the film. It’s not terribly original, as Disney has made countless versions of this movie in the past, it’s not particularly that great of a movie in regards to acting, cinematography, and musical score, and the plot is shamelessly contrived to convince the audience that the film is a “true story” rather than the more truthful “fact based” that the story is. Am I being too hard on this film, probably, but it seems that the moment Disney makes a film, it is hailed as “the greatest ever . . .” despite what the film is about. The moment I saw the preview for the film, I remember thinking wasn’t this movie already made? If you change the names in the movie, yes, it was already made. It was made in 2003 and was called Seabiscuit, but in Secretariat the horse won the Triple Crown, and Seabiscuit had to settle with being the superior film.

If you have already seen the film, you are probably a little upset about the “shamelessly contrived” comment I made about the plot of Secretariat, but it was this same plot that made me shrug my shoulders to the entire film. The idea behind the film is that an underdog horse was given no shot whatsoever to win a championship race went on to be the only Triple Crown winner in twenty-five years, but the movie is more about the people behind the horse. The story itself is an underdog story, a popular movie choice of Disney, but the film goes past that to dramatise the “behind the horse” aspects of the story to make it even more of an underdog story. Is this really an issue? Well, yes and no. It does make a very overwhelming and inspirational film that people will want to see, but it also revises history so that the real life people fictionalized in the film are lost from public knowledge.

Regardless of the title of the film, Secretariat is really about Diane Lane’s character Penny Chenery who has to overcome the male driven world of horse racing. Despite a mediocre performance, the audience is drawn to the character because she is a lot like the horse Secretariat in the sense that she is an underdog facing overwhelming obstacles. As a little interesting trivia note behind the film, it took only one Diane Lane to play the part of Penny Chenery where it took five separate horses to play the part of Secretariat. Although it was not Diane Lane’s best performance, there have already been whispers of Oscar nominations that are probably based more on her role as a strong female than the ability of her acting. The one true gem of the film was John Malkovich playing the role of the eccentric horse trainer Lucien Laurin who is absolutely hilarious even if Malkovich didn’t have to flex his acting muscles to pull off the role.

Although I had some issues with the film claiming to be a true story when it was simply work off of a few facts, it is a movie that is impossible to hate. Like all underdog movies, it is very inspiring to see that hard work can and will pay off. As a general rule of thumb, if you enjoyed the film Seabiscuit, than I am willing to guarantee that you will feel the same way about Secretariat. Although the characters are not as good as in the Seabiscuit film, they are good enough to pull at your heart strings like with Diane Lane’s performance or make you laugh out loud like with John Malkovich’s performance. And being that it is a Disney film, it is safe to take children to see it as it only has a PG rating, which probably should have been a G rating, but got the tougher rating because not everyone will forget about the gambling that surrounds horse racing. So again I will reiterate that even though it is not perfect, it is an enjoyable film that you should go see.

Trailer for Secretariat The Movie

Steven Spielberg is known for some pretty successful movies and this one, at least in my opinion, deserved those 6 Oscar nominations. But let’s try and recall some of the “action” and maybe see clearly what made this movie such a great experience for me.

We’re taken back in time to the World War II. Instead of seeing the war in Europe as we might be used to (at least from another Spilberg movie perspective), we travel even further, to Shanghai. Japan invaded China and the war is more real than ever.

A small smart and still “bratty” boy, Jim Graham (Christian Bale) is more interested in planes and his normal child activities than the tragedy hitting their family. While trying to flee the country, his British parents are separated from the kid. He is now alone, in a crazed crowd, learning to survive. Living alone in their rich villa, with no one to care or feed him proves to be a task he’s able to manage pretty well.

But his life will take a stranger turn, when Jim is taken to the Soo Chow confinement camp. He is able to still keep on developing as a teenager, learn and instill optimism and dignity in the people who share his destiny. It’s amazing to see how a kid can get through all these horrors without sacrificing his passion and innocence.

There are lots of lessons to be learnt for him. Treason doesn’t come always from the clear enemies, friendship can come in the most unexpected ways and a common passion can rebuild relationships an entire war tries to destroy.

We meet John Malkovich (one of the actors I love dearly) as a not so honest person .. well, to be fair, I think he is the NORMAL man who has the normal reactions an adult would have in the given situation. He’s not a kid anymore and there are values he no longer believes in.

The movie is JUST BEAUTIFUL. Excellent directic job, at least in my opinion. A very powerful movie, maybe with an easy to foresee end, but still an amazing production. It’s been years since I first watched it and it’s been a favourite of mine for quite some time. If you haven’t seen it yet, please take it as a personal recommendation to try watch it. If you know it, then please tell me if you liked it as much as I did